American As Apple Pie - Women's T-Shirt vintage baseball Cartoon-style solar system illustration depicts

Cartoon-style solar system illustration depicts the Sun and nine traditional planets in full color along white orbital rings

Brian Fantana staking his entire romantic strategy on a cologne made with bits of real panther is the most committed self-sabotage in broadcast journalism

axe over shoulder

Bold black retro bubble lettering reads "ALLERGIC TO MORNINGS" centered within the sunburst

Large bold block letters spell "BOFADEE'S" above flowing script reading "Nuts" flanked by small dots

American As Apple Pie - Women's T-Shirt vintage baseball Cartoon-style solar system illustration depictsApple pie became America's entire personality because no one wanted to claim the runner up, which was probably manifest destiny or ranch dressing. Stamping "as" on an apple like a rebus puzzle is the most aggressively sincere thing since a town bicentennial float. The Details: Curved cream serif text reads "American" in a vintage style with distressed texture. A retro illustration of an apple pie slice in tan and golden tones sits beside a red apple